Shocking Secret Revealed: Sequestration Is Starving the Bunnies!!!

Phillip Feeling a Bit Thinner

Betsy (Head Down) Avoiding Comment

 The government stalemate which has created automatic spending cuts has greatly hurt the Mar Vista rabbits, most importantly the four belonging to Mister John and Miss Jill.  According to the new cuts, all expenditures have been sliced by 10%.  This means that across-the-board munching by the bunnies is now down more than it was previously.  According to media representatives of Phillip, his water and food has declined greatly over the last few weeks.  He also says this directly relates to having Ruby Jane forced into his cage.  While he does welcome the warm comfort of the "Brown Bear" in his cage, he does state the food in the bowl is less than it used to be.

Spokespeople from Mister John and Miss Jill vehemently deny these accusations that less food has been going to the rabbits.  "There are almost no oranges left on the tree," said Mister John last Sunday from his luxurious couch in the living room.  "They've eaten almost all of them."  However, the spokesperson for Phillip also added that Miss Jill thought he was "too plump" and "needed to lose some weight."  More denials from the Miss Jill camp.

The children have oddly been very quiet about the supposed rabbit food cuts.  Betsy, as seen in the picture to the left, closed the door to the "Pa Car House" and only requested "Up" after being confronted with the allegations.  Later on that day she took an extra serving of applesauce... this information later was leaked to the rabbits via Paul the Panda.

Mary Jane Cut in Budget Battle

Cookie Sue and Heidi Protest Together

Mary Jane has also been oddly quiet through this crisis.  According to some sources, the rabbits threw a carrot at her and cut her face.  While Mary Jane does deny this -- "Bunny outside" was all she could say about this -- it was seen by many bunnies that the carrots which were to go to the rabbits were ultimately stolen and eaten by Mary Jane and Betsy Jo.

The cruel irony of this whole mess is that Rabbit Liberation Day is on the horizon.  While many humans refer to this day as "Easter Sunday," the rabbits all know this is the day that rabbits will gain their independence from humans by their repeated acts of thumping.  The revolution may be brewing while Miss Jill and Mister John deny all potential revolts.

Mary Jane was finally quoted as saying about this situation, "One, two, three, four... five!"  Indeed.

Easter, Mister John's First Bunny

She was the first rabbit officially given to Mister John as a pet. Yes, there are some random photos of a bunny named Snowball beating him at tetherball. Lies and subterfuge indeed. Easter Grey Erb was her official name. She had a somewhat stressful life as she was the only rabbit to be bitten by a dog. She was also the only female rabbit to have a litter. According to tradition, Patricia allowed Herbie, clearly the male rabbit, to be on the couch with Easter. All they did was "sniff each other" as Pat said. Well, three months later there were many many bunnies. I do recall The Original Mr. Erb questioning Pat on her knowledge of rabbits and sniffing.

Good ol' Easter was remembered well. The first of the modern line of rabbits to claim they were not fed enough.

Misunderstood Woman in Rabbit History

For some reason the rabbits thought that Mary Jane Erb, the original and not the little girl in the house currently, was the original conspirator against the rabbits of Mar Vista. This was untrue but certain rabbits like Easter, Carmel, Herbie, Pete, and Shirley all thought she never delivered food to them with an adequate smile. Now look at that smile, rabbits, isn't that a classic bunny feeding smile?

Meanwhile Chip is getting a bit afraid of the Mary Jane on the right. She pulled/crawled her way to him this morning and as he looked up, she excitedly swatted him on the nose. He felt confused and then hopped away. But how can bunnies not like a happy smiling Mary Jane? Then again they seem to have it out for Miss Jill as well.

The psychoanalytic rabbits out there would say that Mister John married someone who was just like his mother. Too bad, he loves them both.