Shocking Secret Revealed: Sequestration Is Starving the Bunnies!!!

Phillip Feeling a Bit Thinner

Betsy (Head Down) Avoiding Comment

 The government stalemate which has created automatic spending cuts has greatly hurt the Mar Vista rabbits, most importantly the four belonging to Mister John and Miss Jill.  According to the new cuts, all expenditures have been sliced by 10%.  This means that across-the-board munching by the bunnies is now down more than it was previously.  According to media representatives of Phillip, his water and food has declined greatly over the last few weeks.  He also says this directly relates to having Ruby Jane forced into his cage.  While he does welcome the warm comfort of the "Brown Bear" in his cage, he does state the food in the bowl is less than it used to be.

Spokespeople from Mister John and Miss Jill vehemently deny these accusations that less food has been going to the rabbits.  "There are almost no oranges left on the tree," said Mister John last Sunday from his luxurious couch in the living room.  "They've eaten almost all of them."  However, the spokesperson for Phillip also added that Miss Jill thought he was "too plump" and "needed to lose some weight."  More denials from the Miss Jill camp.

The children have oddly been very quiet about the supposed rabbit food cuts.  Betsy, as seen in the picture to the left, closed the door to the "Pa Car House" and only requested "Up" after being confronted with the allegations.  Later on that day she took an extra serving of applesauce... this information later was leaked to the rabbits via Paul the Panda.

Mary Jane Cut in Budget Battle

Cookie Sue and Heidi Protest Together

Mary Jane has also been oddly quiet through this crisis.  According to some sources, the rabbits threw a carrot at her and cut her face.  While Mary Jane does deny this -- "Bunny outside" was all she could say about this -- it was seen by many bunnies that the carrots which were to go to the rabbits were ultimately stolen and eaten by Mary Jane and Betsy Jo.

The cruel irony of this whole mess is that Rabbit Liberation Day is on the horizon.  While many humans refer to this day as "Easter Sunday," the rabbits all know this is the day that rabbits will gain their independence from humans by their repeated acts of thumping.  The revolution may be brewing while Miss Jill and Mister John deny all potential revolts.

Mary Jane was finally quoted as saying about this situation, "One, two, three, four... five!"  Indeed.

Heidi and Cookie Sue: New Roomies!

Best of Friends?

We'll see how this goes.  Cookie Sue and Heidi have now moved into together.  They have moved into Ruby Jane's old cage as Ruby Jane has moved in with Phillip.  Ruby Jane and Phillip have always been good friends so that won't be much of an issue.  But Cookie Sue and Heidi haven't always been the best of friends.  We did take them on a car drive yesterday which helped with their bonding.  Their prospective bonding will make life better for the both of them as good grooming from a mate is quite important.  That and fewer steps to feed all the bunnies.  I do feel a little bad for Heidi as she's been inside for a while and has now been placed outside with another rabbit used to those conditions.  But Heidi is a trooper... and there's lots of bracketed-off space in that cage so they'll have little wind.

Besides they are right next to a statue of St. Francis.  If there is one person who can keep them in line, it's St. Frank.

No Parade for Phillip's Re-Inauguration

Very little celebrating happened on Dewey Street this weekend as Prince Phillip was "reinaugurated" for another term.  The whole word irritates Phillips as he says that princes are not reinaugurated but rather reassure others of their sovereign rule of the land.  Everyone knows of the "divine right of rabbits" and that's just the way it is.

Ruby Jane did not run against him the Bunny Elections in November 2012, as many had thought.  The former rivals are much more amicable these days and share many ideas over blades of grass and orange slices.  There is also one agreement that has united the divided rabbit coalitions since the last election: Mary Jane and Betsy, the two new potential usurpers to the throne.

Mary Jane was born shortly after the previous two-year election cycle started.  Potential human usurpers wasn't even a topic in the previous election debates.  It was only food, water, free time, and airplane noise.  All the rabbits thought that Mister John and Miss Jill were perfectly happy to let their back yard be ruled by long-eared, fluffy tailed overseers.  Alas, that did not seem the case as Mary Jane (and later Betsy) arrived to chase, grab, and laugh at the noble rabbit line.  They felt completely humiliated by little children who couldn't even wipe their noses after sneezing.

"I'm thumping mad," said Ruby Jane.  "No way two little girls -- no matter how cute they are -- are gonna chase us off our lands."

Heidi and Cookie Sue, relative newcomers to the Erb household, really didn't have much of an opinion as their major concern is just food.

Prince Phillip in royal pose.

As for Mister John, he is trying to stay independent of the whole situation.  "It ain't my thing right now," says Mister John, as he types up more Decathlon notes.

Girls Celebrate Thumpsgiving with Cookie Sue

Mary Jane and Betsy celebrated Cookie Sue and Betsy's first Thumpsgiving with the family.  As seen to the right, Mary Jane slightly missed on placing the food in the bowl but Phillip (not amused that MJ fed Cookie Sue first) was OK with it.  Betsy politely patted Heidi on the back which startled the carmel-colored bunny but she was ultimately hoppity over it.

Our Newest Addition

 

Heidi

As you can see here, there is a new bunny in and about the Erb household.  Miss Heidi Faye seems to have much of the same spirit as Cherry Bugg.  We're not sure if she'll bite people on the head but if she just sits on our heads, that's good enough.

Heidi loves to sit in the living and hop back and forth between Mister John and Miss Jill.  She seems quite the sociable bunny but she has not yet interacted with either Phillip or Ruby Jane.  That will be a chapter of its own.

Rabbit Liberation Day: 2012!

It's just a few days until one of the biggest days on the rabbit calendar: Rabbit Liberation Day. On that day, rabbits of the world unite and break their chains of bondage and servitude. They hop and thump proudly and independently while they enjoy eating carrots, apples, and pretzels (at least the German ones) throughout the world.

The Erb rabbits in charge of setting up Rabbit Liberation Day festivities

This event used to be led by the "Easter Bunny" but truth be told, that bunny was a sell-out to the cause. He was voted out in an election over ten years ago and there has been an amalgam of bunny leaders ever since. Root Beer Float and Ruby Jane, for instance, are the local Mar Vista chapter representatives in charge of food and drink. Cherry Bugg is in charge of security. Prince Phillip is in charge of decorations. Mary Jane and Betsy Jo are the new coordinators of cuteness. 

Bust a Brief Move While Walking the Car

Mary Jane loves to walk the car every day.  Never mind that it should actually be ridden (on the way back I tried but she hasn't quite mastered the foot movements for that yet), she'd rather push it down the road.  So in this video, Mary Jane powers on only to pause for a few seconds, go to the front of the music-playing car and presses a button for a tune.  A brief little clap and dance and off she goes again!

She should be do for another walk at 4:30 or so but it is a bit windy out so I'd rather not see Mary Jane and Betsy Jo flying off into the wind like wannabe nannies in Mary Poppins.

Meanwhile the bunnies are hiding in their cages today.  It's a bit too windy for them and Phillip detests wet grass.

Rabbits Try and Dig Hole to Korea

The rabbits are still quite angry that so much attention has been given to Mary Jane and Betsy Jo (and not to them!) that they are undertaking a massive digging project.  According to an unnamed source, three rabbits are plotting to dig all the way to the other side of the world -- which they believe is Korea -- so they can sneak Mary Jane back there.  Alas, this is wrong on many counts.  North/South Korea is not on the opposite side of the world as Dewey Street.  Furthermore, Mary Jane was born in Victorville.  And honestly as her father, that kind of insults Mister John that the rabbits have such a lack of geographical knowledge and care for a little girl who some day will be in charge of feeding them.  One must respect those who will ultimately be in authority over you.

Mister John has already filled a brick into that whole which seemingly has perturbed at least one rabbit.  A particular brown furred rabbit sniffed at and hopped away from the brick with a great deal of disdain.  While no rabbit has claimed responsibility for this whole, Mister John checked Phillip and Root Beer Float -- who both have predominantly white fur -- and witnessed no dirt marks on either their fur or their claws.  Ruby Jane, the self-proclaimed "Brown Bear" denied any digging of the hole and did not want to be subjected to any sort of spot check.

Miss Jill has stayed away from all of this conflict by saying it's not within her purview to make a comment.

Do They Know It's Thumpmas?

Thumpmas time is back again! Time to get out your cards and give them to your favorite neglected rabbits. What? You don't know about the most significant event in the rabbit calendar? For shame! And a thump at thee!  You need to know these important events!

Let me recount the backgrounds of this hallowed day of Thumpmas. On that night of December 25th so many years ago, a tired Joseph and a quite pregnant Mary were trying to find a place to stay for the night. There was no room in the inn so they had to stay out in a nearby stable. All the animals all were allowed to stay: sheep, donkeys, raccoons, dolphins (I mean dolphins?  really?)... everyone except the rabbits! They were forcefully moved out by the Shepherds. Then the Magi later came by that night and tried to eat them! How intolerably rude!!! Thus the rabbits on the scene were quite upset and rightly so. The birth of the Baby Jesus startled them with His commotion. With all the Seraphim singing and the Choirs and Hosts rejoicing, the rabbits could do only what they knew: they THUMPED. And with that thump, that startled the Baby Jesus and He cried with His mellifluous voice for the very first time. Granted a few windows broke -- most windows in the Bethlehem area were not Divinity-proof -- but still the upset rabbits helped create one of the seminal moments in Jesus' life. The rabbits look back on Thumpmas with mixed emotions. Yes, the great Jesus was born but they were also kicked out of their home, thus starting a tradition in many nations: the chasing of rabbits out of hutches on December 25th.

Ironically, Miss Jill and Mister John are with two new children this Thumpmas. But no rabbits were kicked out. Instead they shall be fed at home by a bunny sitter.

Rumor has it in the bunny community that Miss Jill and Mister John adopted a second beautiful baby girl this year for the sole purpose of not bringing a bunny out to Arizona for Thumpmas.  Not to worry, Mary Jane and Betsy Jo will learn the true meaning of Thumpmas when they return home... and a rabbit steals an apple from them!

In an inglorious turn of events, our dear Miss Bugg had her e-mail hacked and spam was sent from her account the day before Thumpmas.  Talk about having no respect for rabbits on their solemn day of contemplation (and irritation).

Scooting Through the Back Yard

Mary Jane loves to get from here to there. In fact in the picture to the left, she scooted ten feet to try and catch Phillip. Well, not really to catch Phillip, but to move next to him and ask him for the fifth race at Del Mar this afternoon. OK, maybe not.

MJ moves quite well on the grass. And she has a much lower chance of head-butting the grass and feeling sore like she does on the wood floor inside. But she's quite the sturdy girl who feels no pain and crawls on. Good for her!

Rabbits Prepare for... Snow?

I don't know about Mary Jane but the rabbits are fluffing up their fur for the oncoming winter snow storm that will have snow at only 500 feet. Goodness. That might be the top of Phillip's large cage (or even his purple castle!).

Mr. John clearly wore the wrong jacket to school today. No sleeves on this vest. Oops.

Bunnies Caucus While Parents Are Away

Phillip, Ruby Jane, and Root Beer Float are trying to figure out how to get more food in the Mary Jane era. They seem to be on the short end of the proverbial rabbit stick. As Root Beer Float said, "We aren't getting the carrot OR the stick. We at least want something to chew on." No comments yet from either Mister John or Miss Jill.

Mary Jane did elicit a comment though. She mumbled aloud and left it at that. Quite vague so the bunnies weren't sure what she meant. Maybe it was post-Super Bowl letdown. Who knows.

Decathlon Survives Day One

The first day of the Academic Decathlon competition went by mercifully enough... but never without controversy. Delays hampered the starting time which pushed essays back. Subsequently this pushed back some of the speech and interview times. But our intrepid band of well-dressed students persevered. With resumes in hand, they interviewed well... and with maybe a note card or two in pocket, they delivered time-appropriate speeches. While many may not medal, at least they'll hit their time and not lose points.

As for the essay, most people went with the "Was Tom Joad a moral man?" prompt. That could taken in either direction which is always fair. Almost no one took La Place's theory on the formation of the solar system (my choice). Or the ever sterling topic on groundwater. I am quite sure Sir Phillip would have not chosen that topic. Everyone knows his odd relationship with water.

The Pengoon, aka Le Conquistador, was quite happy and was fed fish. Miss Jill brought home tuna casserole last night and I heard our valiant penguin eating from the container. Hope Miss Jill doesn't mind penguin feathers in her tuna.

Second Day Home: Bunnies Still Unsure

Mary Jane has been home now for over a day and she is quietly resting while her mommy drives off for errands. Meanwhile Mr. John has asked the bunnies about the new member of the family. The comments are mixed but one concern is universal. "Does this mean less food for us?" That was headed by Root Beer Float when then proceeded to jump into a bin and hide lest the new being chase her down. Mister John had to console her that Mary Jane wouldn't be able to chase her down for a very long time but she still worried anyway.

Phillip hopped into the nursery and approved the safari layout in there. While some of the animals in there do scare him, Phillip was still committed to keeping the baby in there and not in his capacious cage. Mister John later told Phillip that babies don't sleep in outdoor cages. Phillip's quick response, "Ah, that's why Chip sleeps indoors." Ouch.

Anyway, Mister John went back to work and tested his sophomores on Macbeth. Meanwhile Miss Jill spent some home time with the baby this afternoon. All's good on Dewey Street.

Where's the Paella?

Prince Phillip was sniffing all over the back yard this evening looking for some good eats. As you can see in this picture, he was twisting his head left and right for something tasty. Sometimes grass, dead leaves, and rose bushes just aren't good enough.

Later in the evening, Ruby Jane accidentally chased him down. When Phillip turned to confront her, she quietly acquiesced. As well she should.

Meanwhile Mister John and Miss Jill tried some gluten-free pizza and were mildly surprised. It actually had good taste. Alas, they forgot to bring him the leftovers. Thump. Root Beer Float always wants some of the leftovers.

Chip Only Wishes to Say Hello to Phillip

On a calm warm but comfortable Saturday afternoon, the boy Chip (right) hopped out onto the back yard grass to surmise the situation. He liked what he saw as there was no Root Beer Float to pick on him. There was a Cherry Bugg but typically she hops over to him to show dominance and he hops away. It's a bit embarrassing for him but he understands the rabbit hierarchy in the back yard. Or does he?

As he sat out there and pondered his existence, the Spanish rabbit prince Phillip (left) hopped by. Typically they're not out at the same time because two male rabbits of clearly different social strata should not be out in the backyard. However due to a quirk of fate (scheduling error, solar eclipse, door left open, time vortex), they were both out in the back yard enjoying a calming afternoon of sunshine, airplane noise, and tasty grass. Conflict? Hopfully not but who knows.

Unfortunately for Chip, disaster struck as he confronted Phillip to say hello. First of all, Phillip doesn't use English (or Thumpish) as his first language but rather Spanish. And Chip should have known to at least greet the great prince with a worthy show of respect. He did not. So as the picture to the left thus shows, Phillip chases Chip around the patio to show his displeasure at what just happened. Poor Chip just wanted to have a bit of fresh new conversation. Chip doesn't get to talk to other rabbits much since he stays inside every night.

In Chip's mind, this is what should have happened.


Chip: "Why, hello there?"
Phillip: "Hola, como esta?"
Chip: "I am well. How about the lovely weather today."
Phillip: "Hace color."
Chip: "Why, it sure is. I would like to eat some grass today. How about you?"
Phillip: "Si, vamanos."
Chip: "OK."

And off they would go to eat grass and tell manly tales of rabbitness. Alas, as the picture on the right shows, Phillip bit Chip on the butt to remind Chip of the rabbit pecking order in the back yard. I guess bites on the butt transcend any language, except maybe Thumpish.

In another twist, Mister John just stood back and watched it all happen like some sort of a Wild Kingdom narrator. He stood there idly by the tower fence (as we now call it) and watched it all happen. Of course there was also Miss Jill with the camera. If anyone is to blame for the vulgar display of power (guessing not many Pantera fans read this blog, if any), it must be her. Her taking pictures of this rabbit melee is akin to paying off bum fights. OK, maybe not.

In other related news, it really looks like Mister John needs a haircut. Or them all cut! Ha! That was so funny.

No one truly appreciates the humour of the bloggers of the world. Oh well, such it is.

The day passed on without further conflict.

Outdoor Table Has Revarnished Look

Mister John refinished the outside patio table last weekend and now it's looking much more snazzy. He's not sure how well Phillip, the interior decorator/rabbit, will like it. As you can see in the picture, Phillip is there on the bottom right hand corner giving the revamped table a once over. Hopefully he likes the succulents as well.

Phillip Watches the Second Half with the Animals

This afternoon Phillip, Mister John, and the Animals sat on the bed and watched the second half of the Spain/Paraguay soccer match. Phillip was quite happy with the result as Spain won, 1-0, but not without some scary moments. When the Spanish team fouled a Paraguayan in the penalty box, he thumped loudly which scared the Animals. TV Turtle almost snapped at Papa Bugg do to that surprise. Clifford silently rooted for Paraguay because they wore red but was happy to see Phillip bounce about after the game ended.

Phillip rarely spends time in the bedroom as he tends to be more of a solitary individual. But Mister John wants to make sure that he, still a widower of eight months, mingles with other animals. He does get along well enough with Root Beer Float and Ruby Jane.

Luckily Connie has retired into hibernation. I have a good feeling when UCLA football starts in September, Connie will be back in full growl ready to rassle anyone.

As for Phillip, he shall sleep well tonight. At least until the semifinal against Germany.

Phillip Prepares for World Cup Quarterfinal

As to be expected, Prince Phillip is ecstatic about his Spanish soccer team advancing to the quarterfinals. He fully expects them to take down the lowly peasants of Paraguay.

He was initially upset that Sports Illustrated picked Spain to win the World Cup this year. He learned from Mister John that any time SI picks you for anything, you're destined to fail. Do note that back in 1995, SI did pick UCLA to win the basketball title that year and they did.

Phillip was a bit peeved last summer when Spain lost to the U.S. (of all teams!) in a tournament. He was ridiculed by the rest of the rabbits in the backyard even though they know nothing about soccer (other than it's on a tasty green pitch). His dear beloved Jane consoled him though. She was always there for him. Such a great princess.

Needless to say, Phillip (who is usually quite a hand's off sort of guy) will be sitting inside with Mister John during the quarterfinal game on Saturday morning.

Bunnies Celebrate Laker Championship

Last night was quite a busy night for the bunnies. While Mister John quietly graded his semester finals, they all went into another room and started watching the NBA Finals. I guess nothing says rabbit romper room like Lakers/Celtics. Oddly enough it was a physical match and Connie kept asking the bunnies and the other stuffed animals if they wanted to rassle. That scares TV Turtle because he's seen what has happened to those pro wrestlers. First the sun lamp and then it's all downhill from there.

Anyway, they were thumping and hollering for the game, most especially Phillip. For those who don't recall, Prince Phillip originally hails from Spain so he was quite fixated on rooting for fellow Spaniard Pau Gasol. Gasol came up with many key plays in the fourth quarter. And while he might have missed many free throws (Phillip kept thumping at that), he does know how to arrange the furniture correctly in a room. Phillip does not call that feng shui, he calls it good taste. Upon the championship, Phillip hopped into the air and that scared the only bunnies. Actually that only mildly surprised Root Beer Float who was eating cake. Oh, and I think Chip was rustling through a trash can trying to find any leftover pretzels (you know, the ones with peanut butter in side of them).

Alas, as soon as the game was over, controversy struck. Many people on the Internet claimed that Pau Gasol was not from Spain but rather the high plains of Peru. They even supplied a pic to support their claims. Phillip just assumed this was racist anti-Spanish sentiment. Or at least some sort of slam against their under-performing soccer team. The good news in this house is that none of the stuffed animals care about soccer. Well, no one but Simon. Simon clearly roots for the English team but he's not around much. Probably been in the pub for the last week or so. He shows up just enough to antagonize Cherry Bugg. Phillip still holds his Spanish mane proud. Just as Pau Gasol should.

As for Peru, Phillip just says it's a great country to round up Dutch wannabe felons. Sounds reasonable enough.