The Best Laid Schemes o' Pandas and Giraffes...

Mary Jane and Betsy Jo with their animal backpacks

What, me a British lit teacher?  Never.

Anyway, I had this great idea yesterday to see if I could take a walk around the block with Mary Jane and Betsy Jo wearing their animal packs with the "leashes" that would be tucked on each arm of mine.  I knew it would be difficult: the girls do walk at different speeds, have varying walking interests, and don't necessary listen to commands.  Then again, that could also be my sophomores.

I wore Mary Jane's "leash" with my left hand and Betsy's was on my right.  The first 50 feet worked splendidly.   They both giggled and ran intermittently.  Mary Jane tried to escape the gravitational pull of Daddy but was unable to extend more than the 3-4 feet in front of me.  She'd slow down, wait for my long stride to catch up to her, and then take off again.  That worked well for a few houses.  But that was not the problem.

Alas, poor Betsy, she didn't feel like walking.  She was in her Ferdinand the Bull mode.  Betsy wasn't necessarily smelling the flowers -- well, it is spring so it would be as good of a time as any -- but she did want to see all the sites of Dewey.  Never mind that she had to keep pace with Daddy who trying to slow down Mary Jane.  Being tugged at both ends wasn't too helpful... it did make me think about the gravitational pull of the sun and moon upon the Earth.  Seriously!  It did.  That's what I get for spending too much time covering the Space Race and other extraterrestrial (ouch!) things for AD this fall.

Betsy before the fall

Finally, the flop occurred.  Betsy Jo could take no more and fell down with a thud.  Mary Jane kept trying to tug me forward which would then drag Betsy on the sidewalk.  Not a good idea... so I made my executive decision and turned for home.  Mary Jane was not too happy about it as she wanted to get some bamboo for Paul, her stuffed panda.  He's quite the needy panda.

Of course the drama didn't end yet with these excessively cute animal backpacks.  Mary Jane realized that if she stepped on the "tail" of the backpack, Betsy would... yes... THWACK.  Right on the paved driveway.  I should have seen that coming but then again, I think I was annoyed at my shoe lace becoming untied a few seconds previous.

This anecdote was not to criticize the producer of those animal backpacks.  They seem to serve quite a good purpose.  But one dad, two girls, two arms... as Jesus once said, ain't happenin'.  OK, maybe he didn't say that... but maybe he did.  Once.  In Aramaic.

Jor-El Made the Right Decision

The Erb Women

Oh, how could one not look at Miss Jill, Mary Jane, and Betsy Jo and not love their infinite cuteness.  And they all adamantly remind us all that, yes, Superman was indeed adopted as well.  Jor-El and his wife made the right decision. 

Mary Jane and Betsy Jo will be Supergirls... our Supergirls.  Will they bend steel, fly faster than a speeding bullet, or leap tall buildings in a single bound?  Maybe.  But we don't need them to  in order to be our daughters.  They will love us as parents and we will love them as children.  And I'll do everything in my power to prevent whatever metaphorical Kryptonite there is out there from harming them.  Now if for some reason, they pick up a few supervillains along the way... that's on them.  I can only give advice.  (I think I'll cut the Superman conceit here as you and I both know Clark Kent's adopted father doesn't make it much past the first act.)

At some point there should be a musical score from John Williams backing this post.  OK, maybe not but that's how I feel.

Mommy Playing with Our Girls

Amidst all the bunny comments, Bruin basketball, and Academic Decathlon triumphs... sometimes I just need to step back and admit how much I love my women.  They are strong.  They are funny.  They are the best.

Huge Day for the Stars! (More to Come)

All the Stars celebrating the big night of medals.

Mary Star of the Sea's two full Academic Decathlon teams did something absolutely unprecedented.  They won both Division II and Division III titles this evening out at Alemany High School.  I will supply pictures and stats at some point over the next day or two after I calm down from jumping into the air for an hour or so.  I would also like to thank the power of the Pengoon and Deborah the Zebra for helping lead our teams to victory.

Must Be a Decathlon Conspiracy

For some reason, the majority of hits to this site are from Russia.  Is it a coincidence that Russia is this year's Decathlon topic?  Or are there just a lot of people interested in rabbits and little girls with great smiles?  It doesn't bother me... just pad the number to give me the fake impression that strangers are actually reading this.

Olympic Spirit

Mary Jane is into the Olympic spirit as she gets ready to compete for the 2032 Olympics when she's 21.  (Or 2024, if she's in gymnastics.) 

It's a good thing Daddy has some extra medals from the Academic Decathlon for her to wear.  This might not be like Ryan Locthe's all-American grill but that's good enough for MJ.

The Big Soft Fluffy Friend: Pengoon

Mary Jane and Betsy Jo realize that summer is upon them when none other than the Pengoon mysteriously appears in the house.  The large penguin mascot of the Mary Star Decathlon program materializes over summer and Christmas break.  He sits on the large rocking chair and quietly asserts his need for a can of tuna.  This naturally irritates TV Turtle and Sharkey who both want their share of fish food as well.  The penguin is quite placid but he does seem to intimidate the other stuffed animals with his rotund belly.  He also frightens Mommy when she sneaks off to the bathroom in the middle of the night and the suddenly he creeps in under the covers. For some reason, she blames Daddy for that when it was really Pengoon trying to get some warmth.



The Pengoon showed up one day sitting on the bar in the den.

Along with the Pengoon this year is Deborah the Zebra (pronounced the British way of course, ZEB-ruh), the mascot for the Mary Star Decathlon team #2.  Deborah was initially introduced to the family for Mary Jane's first birthday party.  She was an immediate hit with the girls but alas filled a more important team role as mascot.  Deborah and the Pengoon sit atop Mr. Erb's closet in the back corner of the room.  The proudly watched the Mary Star teams win a combined 42 medals last year.  Strong mascots indeed.

Deborah!!!

In the picture, Mary Jane and Betsy Jo sit down in front of the two mascots for the photo op.  Mary Jane and Betsy Jo are the human mascots for teams one and two, respectively.  Thus the picture actually has the right human and animal mascots lineup up. 

In the brief video, Mary Jane attempts at putting Daddy's (aka Mr. Erb's) hat on the Pengoon.  After some failed attempts, she decides to place it upon Deborah's instead.  A for effort, MJ.  Wait, let's stick with the theme: gold medal for effort, Mary Jane!

Busiest Day of the Year

The Academic Decathlon has come and gone for another year.  I'll talk about it more tomorrow at some point but Mary Star did quite well again, managing to win 41 individual medals as well as four team medals too.  Lots of high fiving, blowing it up, and smiles all around.  I love watching hard work get the appropriate rewards.

The Pengoon Returns from Extended Vacation

The Pengoon can no longer rest idly in the back yard or sleep in the purple room during the summer. It's school time again! And the valiant penguin needs to return to Mary Star to lead his Academic Decathlon team to victory. Well, it's mid-August so maybe it's just leading them to study well. In any case, the Pengoon has left Chez Erb to return to San Pedro leaving certain unnamed stuffed animals quite relieved. They feel overly threatened by the fish-eating giant.

Not an Early Sleeper

Alas, Mary Jane decided to stay up an extra 90 minutes tonight. Mommy and Daddy had to suck it up and go to option z: drive! So that was about 40 minutes of seeing the sites... and finally... Mary Jane went to sleep.

After that I think Mommy passed out on the bed and Daddy watched the brand new episode of Torchwood. It had been two years or so... about time! BBC shows seem to go on their own clock.

Oh well, time for Daddy to highlight more Decathlon materials.

Bunnies Starve While Coach Mister John Is Away

Decathlon might be great for Mary Star students but it was quite difficult for the rabbits today who claim they haven't been fed in five days now. While that's quite a doubtful comment, they were quite unhappy with the lack of Saturday frivolity they normally receive. With Coach Mr. John doing his Mary Star medal thang, they were penned up in their cages. If it were up to them, they would have rooted for St. Francis or St. Anthony or someone else to make him come home early.

Root Beer Float (pictured on the left) also said the following, "THUMP. That little girl gets fed every three hours and we get it once a day? That's just wrong. We're cute and cuddly too. We need more feeding times!" She glared before finally adding, "But no baths please."

Mary Star Decathlon Rocks the House!

I will update more of this in days to come but our three teams won a combined SIXTY... yes, SIXTY individual medals. Three students: Christina Szeibert, Allison Read, and Kathy Fernandez won five individual medals to pace the Stars to an incredible score. Team #1 finished second overall (darn you, Flintridge Sacred Heart). Team #3, composed of only freshmen and sophomores finished in second place in their division losing only to Alex and Rose Pilibos (looking at you, Raffi!). Freshman wunderkind Brigitta Szeibert won five medals.

Oh, so many medals to brag about... but more in time to come. I'm just hoping to get some sleep tonight. Luckily little Mary Jane went down easily tonight so I'll fix a bottle for her 2am feeding shortly.

But until then, joyous victory!

Decathlon Survives Day One

The first day of the Academic Decathlon competition went by mercifully enough... but never without controversy. Delays hampered the starting time which pushed essays back. Subsequently this pushed back some of the speech and interview times. But our intrepid band of well-dressed students persevered. With resumes in hand, they interviewed well... and with maybe a note card or two in pocket, they delivered time-appropriate speeches. While many may not medal, at least they'll hit their time and not lose points.

As for the essay, most people went with the "Was Tom Joad a moral man?" prompt. That could taken in either direction which is always fair. Almost no one took La Place's theory on the formation of the solar system (my choice). Or the ever sterling topic on groundwater. I am quite sure Sir Phillip would have not chosen that topic. Everyone knows his odd relationship with water.

The Pengoon, aka Le Conquistador, was quite happy and was fed fish. Miss Jill brought home tuna casserole last night and I heard our valiant penguin eating from the container. Hope Miss Jill doesn't mind penguin feathers in her tuna.

Three for Three!

Mary Jane has passed all oxygen clearance tests so now it's all just a matter of time. Miss Jill has a cool new hat. MJ will have many new animals to cuddle her. And Mr. John... hmm... well, he'll work on more Decathlon highlighting and outlining. And random bowl game watching.

Jill Naps

From what we have heard, it will be a long night so night as well sleep now...

I already napped so I am doing what I do best this time of year: I'm typing up Decathlon notes.

Mister John Does Better than Watson

What, you don't recall the old American painting of that naked dude who fell into the harbor and was being attacked by a shark? I guess you didn't have Academic Decathlon a few years back. Well, get with it!

Anyway, Mister John had a good Saturday as he caught a nice big (plastic?) shark off the Manhattan Beach Pier. At least he said he caught it. Most people who catch shark are either lying or end up with one arm. (I think we'll need a bigger boat.) Anyway, he marched around with Miss Jill on the beachhead yesterday and had a very good time. It was a big foggy out so they didn't burn. I don't think the shark had to worry about it.

No word yet from Sharkey about whether he approves of Mister John's weekend activities.

Someone Is Sleeping in My Bed!

Pengoon realizes that his summer vacation is soon to end so he's sleeping on Mister John's side of the bed right now.

Mister John will have to find his own place to sleep for the night. Maybe if he grabs a tuna can and opens it in the living room, that might lure the mighty Decathlon mascot out there. Otherwise, he'll have to sleep on the couch and watch more reruns of Doctor Who. Well, that and pre-season football.

Penguins Tend to Relax on Sundays

The Pengoon is spending his vacation in style. For much of the year he sits atop Mister John's (aka Mr. Erb) mobile school closet. But for a few weeks during Christmas and summer break, he gets to chill with the family. Of course that brings the annual conflicts with TV Turtle and Sharkey as they all want to eat fish. And clearly this proves to be a greater problem as the Pengoon is much larger than them. Never discuss issues of biomass with Decathlon penguins, television turtles, and cloth-toothed sharks (they get a bit testy). Furthermore Shark Week comes on just in time for the fish eating conflicting every year. This year the three have bonded and have enjoyed watching all the Shark Week programming. This has left Miss Jill and Mister John a little worried as the new programming for 2010 dealt mostly with shark attacks on humans. When either Jill or John walks by, they all turn their heads to look at them like the ghosts did on the Ancient Mariner's ship (what, you haven't read "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner" lately? you suck!).

In the afternoons, Pengoon gets out and lounges in the back yard. Good for him, he deserves a good rest from all the action inside. Besides, in about ten days, he'll be back at Mary Star and surviving all the sophomore madness. And he also knows that January is coming soon enough: the Decathlon awaits. Mister John (aka Coach Erb) will be ready to bring him into battle. And nothing drives fear into other Decathlon teams than the Pengoon. Because they know Mary Star is coming. Well, that and the onslaught of parents that come.

Chill Day for Ruby Jane

Sometimes she hops inside (like here), sometimes she hops outside. Life is simple when it is broken down into prepositions. Inside, outside, up, down, around.

We all need to live life a little more like Ruby Jane. Life can be so busy and troublesome. Just think: inside or outside.

Sometimes it can be broken down into verbs: eat or sleep. With Mister John starting a short-term vacation tomorrow, he will think of things in verb form as well. Eat, sleep, read. Alas, for Mr. John, aka Coach Erb, he needs to read (not only Paradise Lost) a ton of Decathlon material in the next few days before he and Miss Jill are swept away to Louisiana. Ruby Jane, on the other paw, will stay behind.

What Ruby Jane does NOT know is that there are plans for building her a new cage this weekend. Yes, a new cage for the Bugg sisters!!! Cherry Bugg will be so jealous yet ultimately indignant. Chip will be oblivious.

Coach Erb Leads Team to Lots of Medals

Mister John, aka Coach Erb, helped lead the Mary Star Academic Decathlon team to many medals earlier this month. His first team won 18 individual medals as well as bronze medals for Super Quiz and overall. The second team won 15 individual medals as well as silver medals for Super Quiz and overall. This was the largest medal haul yet for Mary Star. Woot!

There would be pictures of the team but those really aren't allowed without parental consent so here's a great picture of Coach Erb in action, walking along the floor before the event. He didn't know that Miss Jill, aka the Speech Coach was secretly taking pictures from the sidelines.

While each student received a minimum of two medals (two received SEVEN), Coach Erb only receives plaques for team success. Luckily for him, he received four this year to match the four from the previous year. Who says plaque is bad for you? He thinks not!

After the event, Coach Erb said, "I'd like to thank my students, my Speech Coach, but most importantly, I would like to thank my rabbits for allowing me to spend some time with my students and not just feeding them carrots."

Bunnies Not So Hoppy on Rainy Day

Unlike the cartoon character (see right), the Erb family bunnies are stuck in their cages on this rainy day and are quite unhoppy. Chip remains in his, flopped and staring at the while. Root Beer Float and Ruby Jane remain huddled, staring out at the rain falling upon the grass. Cherry Bugg remains indignant, true to her self. And Phillip just hates water altogether. Meanwhile Mister John needs to remember not to wear Crocs when walking down wet sidewalks.

Meanwhile Mister John continues to read his Superfreakonomics book and highlight materials for this year's Super Quiz. Ah, the Academic Decathlon waits for no man or rain storm.