Friday, October 19, 2012

Humble Pie

 Earlier last week I was tabbed by my principal to be a contestant in the pie eating contest during our Homecoming pep rally.  I happily volunteered as I am always willing to volunteer for such strangeness.  And I've never been one to be too bothered by doing something that may look awkward or embarrassing.  Sure, other teachers might be... good for them.  If they don't want to look like the boys in that picture on the right, that's there own prerogative (Bobby Brown agrees).

During this week, the principal had often mentioned to me, "It's a good thing you have a sense of humor, John."  Didn't think much of it because I tend to have a decent sense of humor.  At least I have the ability to laugh at myself.

This afternoon before the pep rally I changed into a Mary Star "spirit shirt" which esentially is a navy blue t-shirt with a logo on it as opposed to the purple collared shirt I was previously wearing.  Hey, if I'm getting chocolate cake on it, I better change accordingly.  Some of my "contestants" who were seniors called me out and said that they were going to beat me.  I taught most of them as sophomores so they know how incredibly competitive I am by nature.  Yes, my name was the one attached to the teacher's bracket for punt, pass, and kick last week (whee, won again!).

(On a more related note to this website, Heidi just hopped between by feet... nothing like the tickling of whiskers on a hairy leg.)

Today the pep rally looked quite spectacular as the gym (a "temporary" one at that) was tranformed into a larger representation of Alice in Wonderland.  This year's theme dealt with Wonderland and, yes, I did dress as Tweedledee in the rally seven years ago for the same themed rally (hey, new crop of students, I guess they have the right to repeat once in a while).  I stood on the side with a few teachers and parents before the dreaded pie-eating contest.  As we were all called up, I slowly walked up there, high fived the appropriate staff and random students.

The tables were set up with three in a line, parallel to the students in the bleachers.  Two students at the left table, Mr. Erb in the center table, and two students on the right table.  I sat there in the center, waved at the crowd and smiled for the Yearbook camera people.  Then of course the blindfold but not before I saw my luscious chocolate cake.  I was then blindfolded and was told the rules and off we went.

Some music blared in the background and the crowd went wild as our announcer, Fr. Nick, was calling the play-by-play action.  My face dived into the chocolate and swirled around from left to right, just as the Internet site told me to do.  OK, I'm quirky and competitive enough to read the instructions on HOW TO WIN A PIE-EATING CONTEST.  I knew I was doing quite well as I seemingly was swallowing more than I was breathing.

Then after a few minutes of getting pie here, there, and everywhere (including up my nostrils!), the "pie-eating song" ended and Fr. Nick declared a winner.  Internally, I felt a little bummed because I had not reached the crust yet... I still had a little more chocolate and whipped cream to get too.  But then he declared the magic words: "Our winner is Mr. Erb!"

Immediately I raised my hands in triumph.  Score another victory for Mr. Erb!  I took off my blindfold to see that both tables as well as the students were no long there.  Under the guise of the noise and my blindfold, they retreated to leave me all alone in the middle of the gym.  Ah, silly Mr. Erb eating a chocolate pie like a madman!  This all registered in my brain in about half a second.  I could have been mad but I was not.  Instead I looked straight ahead at the cameras and knowing that I had a completely chocolate-covered face, I raised my hands again in triumph, and pointed them forward in a I-da-man pose.  (Hey, when the jokes on you, I'll laugh; when it's on me, I'll laugh more.)

Hopefully the Yearbook kids will send me a copy next week so I can attach it to this not-so-brief blog this evening.  It's 8:30 now, a full six-and-a-half hours after the contest and I can still smell chocolate as it must be half way up my sinuses by now.  Yeah, ew.

And yes, I don't think I'll be eating any chocolate for a few weeks... whethere it's Halloween or not.

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