Bunnies Claim Mister John Is Trying to Poison Them

Early this morning both Root Beer Float and Princess Jane were taken inside the house for medication regarding various illnesses. However, neither rabbit seemed completely sure that it was for strictly medicinal reasons even though they both sat through an extensive visit at the veterinarian on Wednesday afternoon.

"I didn't like it one bit," complained Root Beer Float who was awakened at 5:34 in the morning. "He picked me up out of cage, tried to shove a syringe into my mouth and it didn't even taste like carrots." Mister John said that this was for her recurrence of sneezing but she didn't exactly believe this. "I think this is because I am too cute."

Princess Jane thought otherwise. "This is an attempt to usurp my power. I think that troglodyte Cherry Bugg is behind this." Again Mister John assured her this was for her sore mouth and the problems caused by an inflammation of the gums. "I am a princess. Princesses do not have sore gums." She then indignantly hopped away. She was later consoled by her husband Phillip who told her to drink some water. Lots of water.

Hopefully this problem will be rectified. However, Mister John says the medicine will last for two full weeks. But unfortunately for Princess Jane, she will have to return to the vet. Mister John tells her it's for her beauty spa.

Bunnies Unmoved by Illnesses

Supposedly a mean touch of the flu hit the home of Mister John and Miss Jill but the rabbits did not buy their excuses. They were thumping mad that in a week in which Mister John has multiple short days -- and even took a sick day! -- that they did not get to run around the back yard. "THUMP," said Ruby Jane's right back foot. Cherry Bugg did curtly add to this whole illness thing, "I thought I saw a pig tail on that Mister John. The swine flu with him!" They all giggled before ChBugg tried to bite the others on the butt.

But four of the rabbits were able to be out and about for a summer Sunday. Alas, RBF and Ruby Jane were also unhappy that they had to go up early because their masters were going to Mass. Maybe if the bunnies had more religion in their lives, they would not be so unsympathetic to such matters.

One Man's Viewing of Ramses II

I was a traveler from an antique land
And saw a big-ass trunkless head of stone
Stand upon a museum shelf. On the stand
Half drunk, a worn-down visage lies, that frown
And herpes'd lip and sneer of cold command
Tell those ideas of what a sculptor dread
Yet still survive be it among these things,
My hand doth mock him for I know he's dead
And on his pedestal faint words appear:
'My name is Ozymandias, king of kings,
Look on my bowling, John Erb, and despair!'
Nothing around remains. Round the display
Of that olde bowling wreck ancient and bare,
I'll travel to much better lanes today.

Last Night for the Pengoon

Alas, poor Pengoon, I knew him well, Horatio.

The Academic Decathlon mascot will return to school tomorrow as the whole school year process starts all over again. While it is sad not to see the cheerful penguin in the home, it does prove problematic. Such animals like TV Turtle and Sharkey (who disappeared for a week but was finally found in Miss Jill's jewelry box, don't ask) do not like the Pengoon's presence because he eats most of their fish. The Pengoon denies it all but fish breath is hard to remove.

Only students who are in Academic Decathlon are allowed to touch the penguin. Others receive detention. Such is the power of the penguin... er, Pengoon.

Not to worry, world, the Pengoon will be back home over Christmas vacation. Hey, gotta take the carpool lane once in a while!

Princess Jane Incensed at Mockery

Mister John and Miss Jill looked all regal last week while visiting the Eagle Castle Winery in Central California (either inside or outside the border of Paso Robles). They took quite a quaint picture as they looked very royal here. Unfortunately one rabbit princess did not take kindly to this photo and called it grotesque. While the two humans tried to play it off as some sort of satire, it still did not go over well with either Jane and Phillip.

Mister John (pictured to the left) is sitting at his wife's laptop in Pismo Beach wondering whether or not the quasi-royal picture was appropriate. After a few thoughtful minutes, he decided to go with the photo.

Unfortunately for Mister John, the whole school year process begins again tomorrow. Another 11 months of teaching... the bunnies will miss him. Who will let them out during the day? Indeed.

Miss Jill Disses RBF, Chooses Baileys

Right in front of Commute Bunny, Miss Jill was offered the choice of ice cream, a dinner liquor, or a root beer float. And Miss Jill rejected the frothy drink of choice amid the Erb family rabbits. Commute Bunny and Mister John were shocked that she would eschew the namesake drink of the prominent sneezing rabbit in the household. Mister John of course chose the root beet float. Maybe Miss Jill was holding out for the rubies jubilee.

Meanwhile Commute Bunny angrily opposes being called a Pocket Monkey. More on that later.

Traversing the Central Coast

Miss Jill and Mister John have spent a few days wandering about the Central Coast. They have tasted wine, walked beaches, and survived brush-fires.

The first two days in Paso Robles were quite refreshing, nothing like escaping the big city for a little small time flavor. Actual downtown parking for free! Who would have thought of such an idea? (certainly not Santa Monica) Now we are in Pismo Beach. No, not Pepto Bismol.

Commute Bunny has traveled with us and has met many friends and has escaped the swooping bird who try to say Hello to her.

Commute Bunny Nearly Disrupts Hamlet

While Mister John was off in London on official business, he decided to drop by the Wyndham Theatre and watch a production of Shakespeare's greatest tragedy Hamlet, starring Jude Law. Mister John thought it was an excellent production as it had a much greater variety of humor than the occasionally self-congratulating and often bombastic (yet excellent) Kenneth Brannagh version. He showed up looking quite dapper as Commute Bunny hid behind Mister John's tie and promised to keep quiet and never say, "Kitty! Kitty!" to anyone. He later bribed her with cookies and cream ice cream during the intermission.

Alas, in the middle of Hamlet's great "To be or not to be" soliloquy in the third act, Commute Bunny got bored and trying to sing out, "It's bo-ring! It's bo-ring! The fat man in the front row is sno-ring!" Luckily Mister John muffled this action before this would interrupt Jude Law and the rest of the elite West End audience. Do note that the seat was dead centre, third row. Yeah, he could see the actors spit out ever 'p' word. Commute Bunny did start singing in the fourth act when Ophelia started singing about Valentine's Day and later decided to go swimming with the flowers. No, not Flowers (to the right). Poor Ophelia never had a chance. She was romantically interested in a prince who just saw his uncle kill his father and then marry his mother. Her father talked way too much and her brother Laertes was a hot headed France lover!

All in all, the play was worth the 110 pounds. Superior acting, adequate costumes (Horatio wearing rolled-up jeans, really?), impeccable timing, and solid lighting... I give it a strong 4 1/2 carrots! Now if only my traveling rabbit companion could keep her mouth shut in the Tube as well...