Wednesday, June 30, 2010

LeBron Eve: Which Rabbit Will Be His Fan?

It's June 30 so everybody who follows the NBA knows three things: the Celtics are getting too old, the Clippers suck, and LeBron James is declaring his rabbit free agency tonight. Since he was drafted straight out of high school, he has allowed a rabbit in Akron by the name of Scruffy Andy to be his sole rabbit fan. Alas, that rabbit has since jumped onto the soccer bandwagon and picked some potty-named Kaka from Brazil. Really? Isn't that what bathroom bins are for?

Anyway, Cherry Bugg, Chip, and Root Beer Float are all still a part of the LeBron James sweepstakes. Chip might have the young cute thing going for him but LeBron wants a rabbit who will help root him to a title. Cherry Bugg definitely has more compunction for such an endeavor but she gets a little testy on road trips. Besides, most NBA players get to bed around 2 a.m. and that's when Cherry Bugg starts awaking from her daily slumber. I'm sure that King James would not approve of her hopping on his chest at 5 a.m. for a carrot. As for Root Beer Float, that's a wild card. It's true that RBF has plenty of money to throw around. She does afterall sell pictures of herself for up to $5 at most restaurants. If you ever go to a place who has a discount on Root Beer Floats, it's probably faked pics of hers. You can usually tell; in those pictures she has two full ears.

Oddly enough Ruby Jane, who did not join into the LeBron James sweepstakes, is a really big friend of Jay-Z, a good friend of LeBron. Ruby Jane has said that she will not use this friendship to influence him in any way, shape, or fur.

As for Mister John, he remains neutral as he is a Laker fan and roots for them just in time to start looting every June (every English teacher needs new shoes and video equipment). His friend, Scott Spencer, busts out Laker flags from April through June. He should have sold Laker vuvuzelas. Then again that might have been a war crime. But as we know, war crimes only get you two years of probation and 30 lost scholarships but am I bitter? (Actually, I feel vindicated.) Where was I anyway?

Oh yeah, ESPN. Anyway, Mister John and Connie have been watching ESPN since 9 p.m. (which is just past midnight on the East Coast) and they are awaiting the key phone call from LeBron as to if any of the three bunnies will be joining his entourage this season.

Rabbits do like a basketball player with mad hops, don't ya know.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Keanu and Forrest Both Waiting for Cherry Bugg

Another Sunday, another day that Cherry Bugg does not get to play in the back yard. While she does manage to get inside the house, she remains sitting in a box. Chip has the run of the living room but sits next to Mister John who watches Argentina dominate Mexico in a World Cup soccer match. Meanwhile all the other rabbits frolic about in the back yard doing whatever they wish.

The plight of Cherry Bugg has severely depressed Keanu Reeves who has joined forces with Forrest Gump to wait in protest at a bus stop until Cherry Bugg is free. The only word that Keanu, actor of such movies as The Matrix and Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, would say about his protest was, "Whoa!" It was a matter of bad timing for Keanu as Forrest was about to say something about a box of chocolates but was interrupted by Keanu's one-word interjection. Maybe they're waiting for Chee, maybe they are waiting for Godot. Who knows?

Currently others are rioting in Toronto to "Free the Chee." No one quite knows if that will be successful or not. The tear gassing suggests it may not. But at least people around the world know of her isolation and suffering. If only Mister John and Miss Jill knew of such things.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Cherry Bugg Only Gets Half a Day

Cherry Bugg is infuriated that she only gets out for two hours on a Saturday morning due to Miss Jill and Mister John going to a wedding. "THUMP," she says, "who needs a wedding anyway?"

Meanwhile Phillip will have his TV on loud to watch the soccer game this afternoon.

Conversely, Connie will have ESPN2 on in the bedroom and will watch the UCLA baseball game. Such a busy household today.

Meanwhile, Mister John and Miss Jill dress up and look quite sharp.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Dirty Chip Gets Another Bath

Chip has been up to no good as has a dirty bottom once again. He has the typical Bugg trait of sitting in his potty bin for much too long. So back into the sink goes he! He fought it initially. "I'm not a stinky butt!" he exclaimed. (This is of course a direct reference to Cherry Bugg who is the archetypal "Stinky Butt") Alas, Mister John gave him another bath so for the rest of this calm Saturday, Chippers will dry off and ponder why Mister John and Miss Jill were "so cruel" to him. Meanwhile his aunt Cherry Bugg hops about in the back yard because it is Saturday, her day. On Sunday, what was traditionally the royal day for Princess Jane (RIP), Prince Phillip will be out with the Root Beer Float and Ruby Jane. None of them currently need baths.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Bunnies Celebrate Laker Championship

Last night was quite a busy night for the bunnies. While Mister John quietly graded his semester finals, they all went into another room and started watching the NBA Finals. I guess nothing says rabbit romper room like Lakers/Celtics. Oddly enough it was a physical match and Connie kept asking the bunnies and the other stuffed animals if they wanted to rassle. That scares TV Turtle because he's seen what has happened to those pro wrestlers. First the sun lamp and then it's all downhill from there.

Anyway, they were thumping and hollering for the game, most especially Phillip. For those who don't recall, Prince Phillip originally hails from Spain so he was quite fixated on rooting for fellow Spaniard Pau Gasol. Gasol came up with many key plays in the fourth quarter. And while he might have missed many free throws (Phillip kept thumping at that), he does know how to arrange the furniture correctly in a room. Phillip does not call that feng shui, he calls it good taste. Upon the championship, Phillip hopped into the air and that scared the only bunnies. Actually that only mildly surprised Root Beer Float who was eating cake. Oh, and I think Chip was rustling through a trash can trying to find any leftover pretzels (you know, the ones with peanut butter in side of them).

Alas, as soon as the game was over, controversy struck. Many people on the Internet claimed that Pau Gasol was not from Spain but rather the high plains of Peru. They even supplied a pic to support their claims. Phillip just assumed this was racist anti-Spanish sentiment. Or at least some sort of slam against their under-performing soccer team. The good news in this house is that none of the stuffed animals care about soccer. Well, no one but Simon. Simon clearly roots for the English team but he's not around much. Probably been in the pub for the last week or so. He shows up just enough to antagonize Cherry Bugg. Phillip still holds his Spanish mane proud. Just as Pau Gasol should.

As for Peru, Phillip just says it's a great country to round up Dutch wannabe felons. Sounds reasonable enough.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Connie Watches UCLA Softball, Baseball; Wants to Wrestle

Connie, who has been hiding in Mr. John's old bedroom for over a decade, has come out of hibernation lately and has been proudly growling for her UCLA Bruins. She followed Mister John home after a bowling tournament so long ago. She's apt to hibernate especially during fall when UCLA football does not do as well. But now it's springtime and UCLA softball won a title and now baseball is in the World Series for the first time in over a decade.

Unfortunately for Miss Jill, Connie is not only a growling bear but she is also a wrestling one too. She often bops about the house and challenges people or stuffed animals to "rassling." Yes, she does love to rassle as many bears do. I cannot say I can blame.

As for Mister John, he too has been watching the Bruin sports machine crank it up over the past few weeks. Now if only basketball can get their act together.

Connie and Mister John have both been smiling over the recent miseries of the trOJans across the town. Connie gave Mister John a giant bear hug which almost put him out of commission for a few days.

Mister John, seen to the left representing his Bruin ski cap while in Ireland, has been noted to whistle the Bruin fight song more often lately. Ah, nothing puts an extra pace to his step than a Bruin win. That whole Pac-10 expansion thang will be commented upon at a later date.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Root Beer Float Wonders Where Miss Jill and Mister John Went

Mister John and Miss Jill snuck off to Long Beach to celebrate Miss Jill's birthday this weekend. They left the bunnies behind but they did leave them plenty of hay and carrots. None of the rabbits finished their hay but the carrots were gone quickly.

Upon being let out this afternoon, the Float hopped straight out of her cage and started grazing on the grass. It looked like she had not eaten grass in over a week. Well, a day and a half might as well be a week to a starving rabbit.

Ruby Jane on the other hand kept clapping her hands together and eating mollusks. Or something like that. She swims way too much.